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When Creed Bratton gets in trouble, he transfers his debt to [holds up a fake passport] Creed Bratton: William Charles Schneider.

Creed Bratton: [in confessional] Creed Bratton has never declared bankruptcy.

That's why a wedding is like the joining together of a beautiful, glowing bride and some guy.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink. Chuck Norris bites frost Remember the Soviet Union?

To men, sex is an emergency, and no matter what we're doing we can be ready in two minutes. They're very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur.

You get past me, the guy in back of me, he's got a spoon. I've got the toe clippers right here." Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen.

I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy. To me, a lawyer is basically the person that knows the rules of the country. "Oh, sorry, your rear end is too big." "That's ok, your breath stinks anyway. Yeah, what a better way not to have people notice you than taking a thirty foot Cadillac with a TV antenna and a uniformed driver. Maybe the pilot sits up there in the cockpit going, "Oh, I don't believe this. I did it again." They tell you it's something mechanical because they don't want to come on the P. system, "Ladies and gentlemen, we're going to be delayed here on the ground for a while.

Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash. We're all throwing the dice, playing the game, moving our pieces around the board, but if there is a problem the lawyer is the only person who has read the inside of the top of the box. Goodbye." What would the world be like if people said whatever they were thinking, all the time, whenever it came to them? See you later." You know what I never get with the limo?

And, with a new live-action Disney remake of “Mulan” — which may or may not be a musical — looming on the horizon, some fans have much to hope for. Creed Bratton: Bankruptcy, Michael, is nature's do-over. Michael Scott: Like the Witness Protection Program. [last lines] Michael Scott: Don't sell your implants, please. You're talking about Jim and Pam, if they're having sex, what it looks like, and I think... According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. The idea behind the tuxedo is the woman's point of view that men are all the same; so we might as well dress them that way. The end of the show they hold it up to the camera, "Well, here it is.

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